Call It What It Is

Call It What It Is

From the June 14 Detroit News: 

House Republicans prohibited state Rep. Lisa Brown from speaking on the floor Thursday after she ended a speech Wednesday against a bill restricting abortions by referencing her female anatomy.

Brown: “Finally, Mr. Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but 'no’ means ‘no,’” Brown said Wednesday.

Brown’s comment prompted a rebuke Thursday by House Republicans, who wouldn’t allow her to voice her opinion on a school employee retirement bill.

“What she said was offensive,” said Rep. Mike Callton, R-Nashville. “It was so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.”

Dear Rep. Callton:

I checked out your bio on the Michigan House Republicans' site. Your bio says that you are married and have two sons. Since same-sex marriage is not legal in Michigan, I'm going to assume that, as a person with male-pattern baldness and a goatee, you are a man with a PENIS, and that you are married to a woman, or at least to someone who has a VAGINA. While she may not have started life as a VAGINA-haver, I must assume that she now has a VAGINA if you, sir, have a PENIS and the great state of Michigan lets you call her your wife.

Whether or not your VAGINA-having wife personally birthed those two sons of yours, may I also assume that they came out of someone's VAGINA? Or, is it possible that one or both of them were born by C-section, in which case they bypassed the VAGINA and popped straight out of a UTERUS? Which leads to another question: how did they get into that UTERUS? Did they get in there through a VAGINA? Since most of humankind is born that way -- they get in through the VAGINA and they get out through the VAGINA -- I'd say it's a safe assumption.

Concerning yourself, Hon. Rep. Baron von Callton, may I also assume that sometime before you became a "Doctor" of Chiropractic, you yourself were birthed from your mother's VAGINA? In fact, I’m going out on a limb to guess that her own dear mother probably had a VAGINA and was herself birthed from her own mother's VAGINA, and on and on and on, back into the mists of memory.

Without all of those VAGINAs, Mikey, you wouldn’t be here to take great umbrage at Rep. Brown trying to deflect the Michigan House’s attempted invasion of all of our VAGINAs. Y’know, the ones who actually HAVE the VAGINAs.

Don’t like what women do with their VAGINAs? Then go get your own VAGINA. You big pussy or cat.